Book 9

They say that Hiero of Syracuse was a lover of Greek culture and honoured learning most manfully. And they tell how ready he was to do good turns; for they say that he was more eager to give than those who asked were to receive. He was also most courageous in spirit. He lived in harmony with his three brothers, untroubled by jealousy, loving them very greatly and being loved by them in turn. With him, they say, lived both Simonides and Pindar; and Simonides did not shrink, heavy though he was with age, from coming to him; for the Cean was by nature fond of money, and Hiero's generosity, they say, drew him on all the more.

In Aegina the victory of Taurosthenes at Olympia was announced to his father on the very same day by an apparition, so they say. Others say that Taurosthenes had brought a dove with him, taking it from its young, which were still wet and unfledged, and that on winning he released the dove, having fastened purple to it; and the bird, hastening to its young, made the journey from Pisa to Aegina in a single day.

Alexander indulged his companions, allowing them to live in luxury, seeing that even Hagnon wore golden nails in his boots. Cleitus, whenever he was about to give audience to anyone, would receive his petitioners while walking upon purple cloths. Perdiccas and Craterus, being fond of exercise, were followed by hides a stade in size, beneath which they would enclose a large space in their encampments and take their exercise. Much dust too followed them, brought on pack-animals, useful for their wrestling-grounds. Leonnatus and Menelaus, being fond of hunting, were followed by hunting-nets a hundred stades long. As for Alexander himself, his tent held a hundred couches, and fifty golden columns divided it and held up its roof; the roof itself was gilded throughout and wrought with costly embroideries. And first, within, stood five hundred Persians called the apple-bearers, dressed in robes of purple and quince-yellow; above them a thousand archers, clothed in flame-colour and scarlet; before these, five hundred Macedonians with silver shields. In the middle of the tent a golden throne was set, and seated upon it Alexander gave audience, with his bodyguards standing about him on every side. Around the tent ran an enclosure, where there were a thousand Macedonians and ten thousand Persians. And no one dared approach him easily; for great was the fear of him, lifted up as he was by pride and fortune into tyranny.

Polycrates of Samos dwelt among the Muses, and he honoured Anacreon of Teos and held him in esteem, and delighted in him and in his songs. But I do not praise his luxury. Anacreon praised Smerdies, Polycrates's favourite, rather too warmly, and the youth took pleasure in the praise, and embraced Anacreon with great dignity, since the poet loved his soul, not his body. For let no one, in the gods' name, slander the poet of Teos to us, nor say that he was a man without restraint. But Polycrates grew jealous because Anacreon honoured Smerdies, and saw that the poet was loved by the boy in return; and Polycrates sheared the boy's hair, to disgrace him, thinking thereby to grieve Anacreon. But Anacreon, with self-command and restraint, made no pretence of blaming Polycrates, but turned the reproach upon the youth, charging him with rashness and folly for arming himself against his own hair. As for the song upon the cutting of the hair, let Anacreon sing it; for he will sing it better than I.

When Hiero came to Olympia at the holding of the Olympic games, bringing horses, Themistocles barred him from the contest, saying that one who had not taken part in the greatest of dangers ought not to take part in the festival; and Themistocles was praised for it.

Pericles, when in the plague he lost his sons, bore their death most manfully, and persuaded all the Athenians to bear with better spirit the deaths of their dearest.

Xanthippe said that, though countless changes of fortune befell the city and themselves, in all of them the face of Socrates was the same, whether he was going out of the house or returning to it; for he was fitly disposed toward all things, and was ever serene in mind, above all grief and stronger than every fear.

The younger Dionysius, when he came to the city of the Locrians — for his mother Doris was a Locrian — took for himself the greatest house in the city, and strewing it with roses and thyme and other flowers, he sent for the daughters of the Locrians and lay with them most licentiously. For this he paid the penalty; for when his tyranny was overthrown by Dion, then the Locrians prostituted the wife and daughters of Dionysius, and all men outraged them without restraint, especially the kinsmen of the maidens whom Dionysius had ruined. And when they were sated with outraging them, they killed them by piercing them under the nails of their hands with needles. Their bones they pounded in mortars, and stripping the flesh from the bones they laid a curse on any who would not taste of them; and whatever was left of them they sank in the sea. As for Dionysius, after passing through many and various changes of life in Corinth, through his extreme poverty, he at last ended his days as a begging-priest of the Mother of the gods, beating drums and accompanied by the flute.

Demetrius Poliorcetes took cities, and indulging his own luxury, he procured for himself a revenue of twelve hundred talents each year, and of these he spent little on his army, but the rest on his own debauchery. His floor was sprinkled with perfumes, and at every season of the year the choicest flowers in bloom were strewn beneath him, that he might walk upon them. He was licentious with women too, and attempted youthful loves. He took care also to be handsome, arranging his hair and dyeing it golden and anointing his face with rouge. He used other unguents besides, taking pride in his self-indulgence.

Plato, when the Academy was said to be an unhealthy spot, and the physicians advised him to move to the Lyceum, would not consent, saying: "But I would not move even to the heights of Athos for the sake of living longer."

That Parrhasius the painter wore a purple robe and a golden crown is attested both by others and by the epigrams on many of his pictures. He once competed in Samos, and met with a rival not much inferior to himself, and then was defeated. His picture was Ajax contending against Odysseus for the arms of Achilles. Having been defeated, Parrhasius answered very wittily to the companion who grieved with him; for he said that he himself cared little for the defeat, but that he grieved for the son of Telamon, who had now been defeated a second time over the same thing. He carried also a staff with golden spirals winding round it, and he fastened the straps of his sandals with golden buckles. They say that he plied his art neither unwillingly nor laboriously, but with great cheer and ease; for he would sing, and softly humming would try to lighten the toil of his craft. So Theophrastus says.

The Romans expelled from the city Alcaeus and Philiscus the Epicureans, because they introduced the young to many strange pleasures. And the Messenians too drove out the Epicureans.

Dionysius of Heracleia, the son of the tyrant Clearchus, I hear, from his daily gluttony and luxury grew, before he knew it, exceedingly fat and gross of body. The reward, then, of his bodily bulk and the mass of his flesh that he reaped was difficulty in breathing. As a remedy for this affliction, they say, the physicians prescribed that very long fine needles be made, and that these be driven through his ribs and belly whenever he chanced to fall into a deeper sleep. This it was their task to do, until the needle passed entirely through the callused and, as it were, alien flesh of him; but he lay there no different from a stone. If, however, the needle reached the place where his body was still sound and his own — not made alien by excessive fat — then he too felt it, and woke from sleep. He gave audience to those who wished to approach him by setting a chest before his body. Others say it was not a chest but a little tower, so that the rest of his parts might be hidden, and only his face, showing above it, might converse — clothing himself, ye gods, in this miserable garb, the cage of a beast rather than the dress of a man.

They say that Philetas of Cos was very slight of body. Since, then, he was easily upset by any cause, they say he had soles of lead made for his shoes, that he might not be overturned by the winds, if ever hard gusts blew. But if he was so weak that he could not stand against a gust of wind, how could he have carried so great a burden? For my part, the tale does not convince me; but what I have learned about the man, that I have told.

The Argives gave Homer the first place in all poetry, and ranked all others second to him. When they made sacrifice, they invited Apollo and Homer to the feast. It is said too, besides this, that being at a loss to provide a dowry for his daughter, he gave her the Cypria as her marriage portion. And Pindar agrees with this.

Italy was first inhabited by the Ausones, a people sprung from the soil. The most ancient of them, they say, was a certain Mares, whose forward parts were like a man's, but his hinder parts like a horse's; and the name itself, they say, means in Greek "horse-mingled." It seems to me that he was the first to mount a horse and put a bit upon it, and that from this he was believed to be of double nature. They tell in legend that he lived a hundred and twenty-three years, and that having died three times he came back to life three times; but to me these things seem unworthy of belief. They say that very many peoples settled Italy, more than any other land. The reason is the temperate climate, the excellence of the soil, its abundance of water, its fertility, its good pasturage, the fact that it is watered by rivers and that a good sea lies beside it, fringed on every side with harbours and with plentiful landing-places and anchorages. And the gentle and mild temper of its inhabitants moved many to settle there. And they say that long ago a thousand one hundred and ninety-seven cities settled Italy.

This account seems to charge Demosthenes with vanity, the one that says that even the water-carriers used to fill him with conceit, if ever, as he passed by, they whispered something about him. For one who was elated even by them, and plainly puffed up, what must he have been if ever he was applauded by the assembly?

Themistocles son of Neocles likened himself to the oaks, saying that men take shelter under them too, and have need of them when it rains, longing for the roof their branches give; but when fair weather comes and they pass by, they pluck them and break off their boughs. So, he said, he himself suffered the same at the hands of the people. The same man said: "If someone were to show me two roads, one leading to Hades and the other to the speaker's platform, I would more gladly take the one that goes straight to Hades."

Diogenes was once lunching in a tavern, and seeing Demosthenes passing, he called to him. When Demosthenes paid no heed, he said: "Are you ashamed, Demosthenes, to come into a tavern? Yet your master comes in here every day" — meaning the common people, both as a body and one by one; showing that the demagogues and orators are slaves of the multitude.

As Aristippus was sailing, a storm came on and he was very greatly troubled. One of his fellow voyagers said: "Aristippus, are you too afraid, like the common folk?" And he replied: "Yes, and with good reason; for your concern, and the present danger, is over a wretched life, but mine over a happy one."

Theramenes happened to be staying in a certain house, and then, when he had gone out of it, it at once fell down. The Athenians, crowding round him from all sides, congratulated him on his unexpected escape; but he, against all expectation, answered: "O Zeus, for what occasion are you keeping me?" And not long after he was put to death by the Thirty, being condemned to drink hemlock.

They say that the Pythagoreans were very greatly devoted to the art of medicine. And Plato too gave it the greatest attention, and Aristotle the son of Nicomachus, and many others.

Aristotle was once ill. The physician prescribed him a certain regimen. And he said: "Do not treat me as you would a ploughman or a digger, but first teach me the reason, and then you will find me ready to obey" — teaching by this that nothing should be applied without a reason.

Smindyrides the Sybarite ran aground in such luxury — for indeed all the Sybarites made it their business to live in luxury and dissolve their lives in it, and Smindyrides still more — that, having lain down upon rose petals and slept upon them, he rose up saying that he had blisters from the bed. Hardly would such a man have lain down on a hard bed, or a mattress of straw, or grass growing on a hillside, or a bull's hide, as Diomedes did, fitting for a hardy and noble soldier: "beneath was spread the hide of an ox of the field."

Pisistratus, when he became master of the rule, would send for those idling in the marketplaces, and inquired what was the reason of their loitering. And he would add: "If your yoke of oxen has died, take a pair from me and go and work; and if you lack seed, let it be given you from me" — fearing that their idleness might breed a plot.

Antigonus the king held Zeno of Citium in great respect and esteem. Once, then, being overfull of wine, he came in revel to Zeno, and kissing and embracing him, as a drunken man, he begged Zeno to lay some command on him, swearing and protesting with an oath, in youthful manner, that he would not fail to grant the request. And Zeno said to him: "Go and vomit" — at once gravely and high-mindedly rebuking his drunkenness and sparing him, lest he should burst from repletion.

A man of Laconia, but a rustic, was rebuked by someone for mourning very intensely and with great passion. And he answered without affectation: "What am I to do? For I am not the cause of this; it is my nature that flows out of me."

A Spartan was praising the verse of Hesiod which says, "Not even an ox would be lost, were not your neighbour bad," while Diogenes listened. And Diogenes said: "Yet the Messenians and their oxen have been destroyed, and you are their neighbours."

The night being already far advanced, Socrates was once coming home from a dinner. Some licentious young men, having learned of it beforehand, lay in wait for him as he returned, holding lit torches and the masks of the Furies. It was their custom to make sport of others too, because of their leisure spent on baser things. Socrates, seeing them, was not at all disturbed, but standing still he questioned them as he would the others either in the Lyceum or in the Academy. — There being a festival among the Athenians, Alcibiades made it his ambition to send Socrates many gifts. When Xanthippe was astonished and thought Socrates ought to take them, he said: "But let us too match the ambition of Alcibiades, vying with him in not taking what was sent." And when someone said to him that it is a great thing to obtain what one desires, he replied: "But it is a greater thing not to desire it at all."

Anaxarchus, when he was campaigning with Alexander, learned beforehand, on the coming of winter, that Alexander meant to make his encampment in a treeless place; so, throwing away all the gear he had, he loaded his baggage-carriers with wood. When they reached the halting-place and there was a want of wood, Alexander's couches were burned that he might warm himself; but when someone reported that there was fire at Anaxarchus's, Alexander came to him and was anointed in Anaxarchus's tent. Learning of his foresight, he praised it highly, and gave him twice as much as he had thrown away, in return for the use of the fire.

An athlete of Croton, an Olympic victor, as he was going to the Hellanodicae to receive his crown, was seized by an epileptic fit and died, falling in a convulsion.

The Greeks set up Phryne the courtesan at Delphi upon a very lofty column. I will not say simply "the Greeks," lest I seem to bring under blame all of those whom I love above all men, but rather the more intemperate among the Greeks. The statue was of gold. And Cimon's mares too, in bronze, stood at Athens, made to resemble Cimon's mares as closely as possible.

A youth of Eretria attended on Zeno for a long time, until he came to manhood. Later, then, he returned to Eretria, and his father asked him what wise thing he had learned in so long a stay. And he said that he would show him, and before long he did so. For when his father grew angry with him and at last laid blows upon him, he, keeping quiet and enduring it, said that this was what he had learned: to bear a father's anger and not be indignant.

Diogenes, coming to Olympia and seeing at the festival some young men of Rhodes expensively dressed, laughed and said: "This is vanity." Then meeting with some Spartans in coarse and dirty smocks, he said: "This is another kind of vanity."

Socrates, seeing that Antisthenes was always making the torn part of his cloak conspicuous, said: "Will you not stop showing off to us?"

A harpist was performing before Antigonus. When the king kept saying, "Tighten the top string," and again, "the middle one," the harpist grew indignant and said: "May it never go so ill with you, O king, as to know these matters better than I."

Anaxarchus, surnamed "the Happy," used to laugh at Alexander for deifying himself. When Alexander once fell ill, and the physician prescribed that a broth be made for him, Anaxarchus laughed and said: "The hopes of our god, then, lie in a soup-bowl."

Alexander came to Ilium. As he was studying it diligently, one of the Trojans approached and showed him the lyre of Paris. But he said: "I would rather see that of Achilles." This was a noble word of Alexander's; for he longed for the possession of a good soldier, to which that man had sung the glories of brave men. But what did the lyre of Paris ever sing, except adulterous songs, such as catch and bewitch women?

How could one not call these loves at once ridiculous and strange? That of Xerxes, in that he fell in love with a plane-tree. And a youth of good birth at Athens fell most ardently in love with the statue of Good Fortune that stood beside the Prytaneum. He would kiss the statue and embrace it; then, driven mad and stung by desire, he came before the council and entreated them, ready to buy the statue for the greatest sum of money. When he could not persuade them, he bound the statue with many fillets and crowned it and made sacrifice to it and put costly adornment about it, and then killed himself, after weeping countless tears beforehand. As for Glauce the harpist, some say a dog fell in love with her, others a ram, others a goose. And in Soli in Cilicia a dog fell in love with a boy named Xenophon, and in Sparta a jackdaw with another beautiful youth.

The Carthaginians used to put two helmsmen aboard a ship, saying it was absurd that a ship should have two rudders, while he who was most useful to those sailing and who had the command of the vessel should be left alone and without a successor or partner.

At a certain dinner, they say, there were present Simonides of Ceos and Pausanias the Lacedaemonian. Pausanias bade Simonides say something wise, and the Cean, laughing, said: "Remember that you are a man." This Pausanias at once made light of and set at nothing, already smouldering with the longing to take the Persians' side, and high-minded over his guest-friendship with the king, and perhaps also carried away by wine. But when he was at the temple of the Lady of the Brazen House, and was wrestling with hunger and about to die the most painful of deaths, then he remembered Simonides and cried out three times: "O Cean stranger, your word was indeed a great matter, but I in my folly thought it nothing."

When Artaxerxes had put to death his elder son Darius for plotting against him, the second son, at his father's bidding, drew his scimitar and killed himself before the palace."