Firmus Saturninus, Proculus et Bonosus

I know that very many writers have passed over the lesser tyrants in silence or have briefly slipped past them. For Suetonius Tranquillus too, a most correct and most candid writer, was silent about Antonius and Vindex, content with having touched on them cursorily; and Marius Maximus wove Avidius, of the times of Marcus, and Albinus and Niger, of those of Severus, not into his own proper books but into others'. And about Suetonius we do not wonder, to whom it was familiar to love brevity; but did Marius Maximus, the most verbose of all men, who entangled himself even in fabulous volumes, ever descend to this description and care? And on the other hand, Trebellius Pollio was of such diligence, such care, in setting forth the good and the bad princes, that he even included thirty tyrants briefly in a single book—men who belonged to the times of Valerian and Gallienus and of princes not much earlier or later. Wherefore for us too, even if there has not been so great care, yet there has been not the least, so that, when Aurelian, Tacitus, and Florianus, and Probus too—a great and singular prince—have been treated, and when Carus, Carinus, and Numerianus were to be treated, we should not fail to do so concerning Saturninus, Bonosus, and Proculus and Firmus, who had been under Aurelian.

For you know, my Bassus, how great a dispute we lately had with that lover of histories, Marcus Fonteius, when he said that Firmus, who in the times of Aurelian had seized Egypt, was a brigand and not a prince; while on the other side I, and with me Rufius Celsus and Ceionius Julianus and Fabius Sossianus, contended, saying that he had both used the purple and, with coin struck, been commonly called Augustus—since Severus Archontius too produced coins of his; and from the Greek and Egyptian books he proved that the man was called "autokrator" (emperor) in his edicts. And to that man, contending against us, this was the only argument, that he said Aurelian in his edict had not written that he had killed a tyrant, but that he had removed a certain brigand from the state—as if it were worthy of a prince of so great a name to have called by the name of tyrant a man of darkness, or as if great princes had not always called brigands those whom they killed for seizing the purple. I myself, in the Life of Aurelian, before I knew everything about Firmus, did not count Firmus among those who wore the purple, but as a kind of brigand; which I said for this reason, lest anyone should think I had forgotten myself. But that I may not weave many things into a volume which I promised would be very brief, let us come to Firmus.

Firmus' native city was Seleucia, although very many of the Greeks hand down another, ignorant that at that very time there were three men named Firmus, of whom one was prefect of Egypt, another commander of the African frontier and likewise proconsul, and the third this one, the friend and ally of Zenobia, who, incited by the fury of the Egyptians, overran Alexandria, and whom Aurelian, with the usual good fortune of his virtues, crushed. Of this man's riches many things are told; for he is said to have furnished his house with squared glass panels set in with bitumen and other compounds, and to have had so much in papyrus that he often said publicly that he could feed an army with paper and glue. He also held the greatest alliance with the Blemmyes and with the Saracens. He often sent trading ships too to the Indians. He himself is said to have had two elephant's tusks ten feet long, from which Aurelian had resolved to make a throne, with two others added, in which a Jupiter of gold and set with gems should sit, with the appearance of the bordered toga, to be placed in the Temple of the Sun, the Apennine oracles being consulted—whom he had wished to be called Jupiter the Consul, or the Consulting. But these same tusks afterward Carinus gave as a gift to a certain woman, who is said to have made a couch out of them—whom, because she is known even now, and to be known among posterity will profit nothing, I pass over in silence. Thus an Indian gift, consecrated to Jupiter Best and Greatest, through a most worthless prince seems to have been made both an instrument of lust and a price of it.

Firmus was, however, of vast stature, with eyes protruding outward, with curly hair, a scarred forehead, of a dark countenance in the face, but in the rest of the body white, yet hairy and rough, so that very many called him a Cyclops. He fed on much meat; he is said to have eaten an ostrich in a day. He drank not much wine, but very much water; most firm in mind, most robust in his sinews, so that he surpassed Tritannus, of whom Varro makes mention. For he steadily endured an anvil placed upon his chest while others struck it, while he himself, reclining and lying on his back and bent, hung upon his hands rather than lay. Yet there was a contest of his with the generals of Aurelian over drinking, whenever they wished to try him; for a certain man, Burburus by name, of the number of the standard-bearers, a most notorious drinker, when he had challenged him to drinking, drained two buckets full of unmixed wine, and afterward, through the whole banquet, was sober; and when Burburus said to him, "Why have you not drunk the dregs too?" he replied, "Foolish man, earth is not drunk." But we pursue trifles, when greater things ought to be told.

This man, then, took up the empire against Aurelian, to defend the remaining parts of Zenobia's cause. But, as Aurelian was returning from Thrace, he was overcome. Many say that he ended his life by the noose; Aurelian shows otherwise in his edicts; for when he had conquered him, he ordered such an edict to be set up at Rome: "Aurelian Augustus says greeting to his most loving Roman people. With the peoples everywhere pacified, throughout the whole world as far as it widely extends, we have also—not to say much—put to flight, besieged, tormented, and killed Firmus the Egyptian brigand, who was raging with barbaric movements and gathering up the remnants of a womanish disgrace. There is nothing, Quirites, sons of Romulus, that you can fear: the grain-tribute of Egypt, which had been held in suspense by that wicked brigand, will come whole. Let there be concord between you and the senate, friendship with the equestrian order, affection with the praetorians. I shall bring it about that there be no Roman anxiety. Devote yourselves to the games, devote yourselves to the circus; let public necessities engage us, let pleasures occupy you. Wherefore, most holy Quirites," and the rest.

These things which we have learned about Firmus you ought to know; but they are worthy of record. For those things which Aurelius Festivus, the freedman of Aurelian, related about him one by one, if you wish to know, you must read that same author—especially since he says that this same Firmus swam among crocodiles, anointed with the fat of crocodiles, and rode an elephant and sat upon a hippopotamus, and, sitting, was carried by huge ostriches and as it were flew. But what does it profit to know these things, when both Livy and Sallust are silent about trivial matters concerning those whose lives they took up? For we do not know what kind of mules Clodius had, or what mules Titus Annius Milo had, or whether Catiline sat on a Tuscan horse or a Sardinian, or in what kind of purple mantle Pompey was wont to be clothed. Wherefore we shall make an end of Firmus, coming to Saturninus, who claimed the empire for himself against Probus in the parts of the East.

Saturninus was by origin a Gaul, of a race of men most restless and ever greedy either to make a prince or to make an empire. To him, among the other generals, Aurelian, because he truly seemed certainly to be a most excellent man, gave the command of the eastern frontier, wisely instructing him never to look upon Egypt; for that most prudent man was considering, so far as we see, the nature of the Gauls, and he feared lest, if he saw so turbulent a state, whither his nature led him, thither too he should be led by the fellowship of men. For the Egyptians, as you know well enough, are men windy, frantic, boastful, injurious, and indeed vain, free, eager for new things even to the point of public ballads, versifiers, epigrammatists, astrologers, soothsayers, physicians—for among them there are Christians, Samaritans, and men to whom the present times are always displeasing with an enormous freedom. And lest any of the Egyptians be angry with me and believe that what I have set down in writing is my own, I shall set forth a letter of Hadrian, brought to light from the books of Phlegon his freedman, from which the life of the Egyptians is thoroughly uncovered:

"Hadrian Augustus to the consul Servianus, greeting. Egypt, which you were praising to me, my dearest Servianus, I have found wholly fickle, vacillating, and flitting to every breath of rumor. There those who worship Serapis are Christians, and those who call themselves bishops of Christ are devoted to Serapis. There is no head of the synagogue of the Jews, no Samaritan, no Christian presbyter, who is not an astrologer, a soothsayer, an anointer. The patriarch himself, when he comes to Egypt, is compelled by some to adore Serapis, by others Christ. A most seditious, most vain, most injurious race of men; a city wealthy, rich, fertile, in which no one lives idle. Some blow glass, by others paper is made, all certainly seem to be linen-weavers or of some craft or other; and the gouty have something to do, the circumcised have something to do, the blind have something to do, not even those with crippled hands live idle among them. To them their one god is money. This the Christians, this the Jews, this all worship, both peoples and races; and would that the city were of better character, worthy indeed, for its fertility, for its greatness, to hold the chief place of all Egypt. To it I granted everything, restored its old privileges, added new ones in such a way that they gave thanks while I was present. Finally, as soon as I departed thence, they said many things against my son Verus, and what they said about Antinoüs I believe you have learned. I wish them nothing, except that they may be fed on their own chicks, which—in what manner they breed them, I am ashamed to say. I have sent you cups, changing in color and many-hued, which the priest of the temple offered me, specially dedicated to you and to my sister; which I should wish you to use at your banquets on festival days—yet take care that our friend Africanus does not use them too indulgently."

Considering these things, then, about the Egyptians, Aurelian had ordered that Saturninus should not look upon Egypt—and indeed with divine foresight; for as soon as the Egyptians saw that great power had come to them, they at once shouted, "Saturninus Augustus, may the gods preserve you!" And he indeed—which cannot be denied, a wise man—soon fled from the city of Alexandria and returned to Palestine. There, however, when he had begun to consider that it was not safe for him to live as a private man, having put on the purple, robed in the holiday garment of his wife from a statue of Venus, with the soldiers standing around, he was adored. I have often heard my grandfather say that he was present when that man was adored. "He wept," he said, "and said, 'It is necessary—if I may say it without arrogance—the state has lost a man. I, surely, restored the Gauls; I gave back Africa, possessed by the Moors; I pacified the Spains. But what does it profit? All these things have perished, the honor once aspired to.'"

And when those who had clothed him in the purple were encouraging him either to life or to empire, he discoursed in these words: "You do not know, my friends, what an evil it is to reign. Swords hang threatening over the neck, suspended by a bristle; spears on every side, on every side darts; the very guards are feared, the very companions are dreaded. There is no food for pleasure, no journey for authority, no wars by judgment, no arms by inclination. Add that every age is reproached in the empire. Is one old? He seems unfit. Young? It is added to these charges that he is mad. And now, why do I speak of Probus, beloved by all? Whose rival you wish me to be—to whom I gladly yield, and whose general I wish to be—you drag me to the necessity of death. I have one consolation of death: I shall not be able to perish alone." Marcus Salvidienus says that this was truly his own speech; and he was in fact not a little learned, for in Africa he had given attention to a rhetorician, and at Rome he had frequented the schools of the masters.

And, that I may not proceed further, it must be said—which especially pertains to this man—that some err and think this is the Saturninus who seized the empire in the times of Gallienus, since that man is far different, and this one was killed, Probus being unwilling that he should be punished. For it is reported that Probus often sent merciful letters to him and promised pardon, but the soldiers who had been with him did not believe it. Finally, besieged in a certain fort by those whom Probus had sent, he was slain against Probus' will. It is long to weave in all the trifling matters, and odious to say of what stature he was, of what body, of what comeliness, what he drank, what he ate. Let those things be told by others which are of almost no profit by way of example. Let us return to the things which are to be told.

Proculus' native place was Albingaunum, set in the Maritime Alps; he was noble at home, but, his ancestors being brigands, indeed rich enough in cattle and slaves and the things which they had carried off. He is said, finally, at the time when he took up the empire, to have armed two thousand of his own slaves. He had a manlike wife, who threw him headlong into this madness, by name Samso—which was given to her afterward, for before she was named Vituriga. He had a son, Herennianus, whom too, if he had completed a five-year period—for so he used to speak—he would have dedicated to the empire; a man (which cannot be denied) . . . and likewise most brave; he himself too was accustomed to brigandage, who nevertheless always led an armed life, for he both commanded as tribune over many legions and performed brave deeds. And since the smallest matters are pleasant and have a certain charm when they are read, it must not be passed over in silence that he himself boasts in a certain letter of his—which it is better to set forth than to say much about it: "Proculus to his relative Maecianus, greeting. I have taken a hundred maidens from Sarmatia. Of these I had ten in a single night; yet all of them, so far as in me lay, I made women within fifteen days." He boasts, as you see, of a thing foolish and quite lustful, and believes himself to be held among the brave, if he grows callous from the density of his crimes.

This man, however, when even after his military honors he conducted himself shamelessly, lustfully, yet bravely, at the urging of the people of Lugdunum—who both seemed to have been grievously bruised by Aurelian and most vehemently feared Probus—was called to the empire, almost in sport and jest, as Onesimus says, which indeed I know I have found in no other author. For when, at a certain banquet, they were playing at the little soldiers (a game), and he himself had come out emperor ten times, a certain buffoon of no low rank said, "Hail, Augustus," and, purple wool being brought, bound it on his shoulders and adored him. Hence came the fear of the accomplices, and hence already the trial of the army and of empire. Yet he was of not a little profit to the Gauls; for the Alamanni, who then were still called Germans, he crushed, not without the splendor of glory—never fighting otherwise than in the manner of brigandage. This man, however, Probus, after he had put him to flight even to the farthest lands, and as he wished to come into the aid of the Franks, from whom he himself said he drew his origin, conquered and killed—the Franks themselves betraying him, to whom it is familiar to break faith with laughter. His descendants even now dwell among the people of Albingaunum, who are wont to say in jest that it does not please them to be either princes or brigands. These things worthy of record about Proculus I remember to have learned. Let us come to Bonosus, about whom I have composed much less.

Bonosus was of a Spanish household, by origin a Briton, but with a Gallic mother, as he himself used to say; the son of a rhetorician, as I learned from others, of an elementary schoolmaster. As a little child he lost his father and, reared by a most resolute mother, learned nothing of letters. He served first among the regular soldiers, then among the cavalry; he commanded maniples, held tribunates, was commander of the Raetian frontier; he drank as no man drinks. About this man Aurelian often said, "He was born not to live but to drink"—whom indeed he kept long in honor for the sake of the service; for whenever envoys of the barbarians from peoples anywhere had come, they were given drink by him, that he might make them drunk and learn everything from them through the wine, while he himself, however much he had drunk, was always secure and sober, and, as Onesimus says, the writer of the Life of Probus, even more prudent in his wine. He had besides a marvelous thing, that as much as he had drunk, so much he passed in urine, nor was his chest or belly or bladder ever weighed down.

This same man, when at a certain time the Germans had burned the Roman pleasure-boats on the Rhine, took up the empire out of fear lest he should pay the penalty, and held it longer than he deserved; for, overcome by Probus in a long and grievous contest, he ended his life by the noose—whereupon indeed a jest arose, that an amphora was hanging, not a man. He left two sons, both of whom Probus spared, his wife too being held in honor and a salary granted her up to her death; for she is said to have been, as my grandfather too used to say, a woman of singular example and of a noble family, yet of the Gothic race—whom Aurelian had given to him as a wife for this reason: that through him he might learn everything from the Goths; for she was a royal maiden. There survive letters written to the legate of the Thracias concerning this marriage and the gifts which Aurelian ordered to be given to Bonosus on the occasion of the marriage, which I have inserted: "Aurelian Augustus to Gallonius Avitus, greeting. In an earlier letter I had written that you should settle the Gothic noblewomen at Perinthus, with salaries decreed, not that each should receive separately, but that seven together should have one common allowance; for when they receive divided, both they take too little and the state loses too much. Now, however, since it has pleased me that Hunila be given to Bonosus, you will give her, according to the schedule written below, all that we direct; you will also celebrate the marriage at public expense." The schedule of the gifts was: "Tunics with little mantles, of violet, half-silk; one tunic striped with gold, half-silk, of a pound's weight; two undergarments of two colors, and the rest that befit a matron. To him you will give a hundred Philippine gold pieces, a thousand Antoninian silver pieces, a million sesterces of bronze." These things I hold that I have read about Bonosus. And I could indeed have passed over the life of these men, whom no one was seeking; yet, lest any fidelity be lacking, I have taken care that even those things which I had learned should be made known. There remain to me Carus, Carinus, and Numerianus; for Diocletian and those who follow must be treated with a greater style.