Letter 42

42. To Chilon, his disciple.

I shall become to you, true brother, the author of a saving work, if you would gladly take counsel from us as to what should be done — most of all concerning those matters about which you yourself entreated us to counsel you. For to begin upon the solitary life has perhaps been ventured by many, but to bring it to a worthy completion has, it may be, been achieved with toil by few. And surely the end lies not in the purpose alone, but in the end is the gain of all the toils. There is, then, no profit for those who do not press on toward the end of the aim, but set up the monastic life only as far as its beginning; nay rather, they leave their own purpose a laughing-stock, charged with unmanliness and lack of resolve by those outside. For the Lord also says concerning such men: "Who, wishing to build a house, does not first sit down and reckon the cost, whether he has what is needed for its completion, lest, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, those who pass by begin to mock him, saying, This man laid a foundation and was not able to finish?" Let the beginning, then, have its advance eagerly toward the achievement. For the most noble athlete Paul also, wishing us not to rest content in the good things lived through in the past, but to advance forward day by day, says: "Forgetting the things behind, and stretching out toward the things before, I press on toward the goal, to the prize of the upward calling." For such is the whole life of men: not content with what is past, but nourished not so much by what is past as by what is to come. For what does yesterday's fullness of the belly profit a man, when today the inborn hunger does not find its proper solace of food? So neither is there any gain to the soul from yesterday's achievement, when today's right action is left undone. For "such as I find you," he says, "such will I judge you."

Therefore vain is the toil of the righteous, and blameless the way of the sinner, when a change has supervened — the one being turned from the better to the worse, the other from the worse to the better. These things one may hear Ezekiel also laying down, as in the person of the Lord. "For if," he says, "the righteous man turns aside and transgresses, I will by no means remember the righteous deeds which he did before, but in his sin he shall die." And the same he says also concerning the sinner: "If, turning back, he does righteousness, he shall live by it." For where are the many labours of Moses the servant, when the contradiction of a single moment cancelled his entrance into the land of promise? And where is the company of Gehazi with Elisha, when for love of money he drew leprosy upon himself? And what profit was there for Solomon in the multitude of his wisdom, and his former such mind toward God, when later, from his madness for women, he fell away into idolatry? But neither did his elation leave the blessed David blameless, on account of his transgression concerning Uriah. And the falling away of Judas from the better to the worse was enough, for the security of one who lives the life that is according to God; who, having for so long a time been a disciple of Christ, afterwards, having sold out his teacher for a paltry gain, wrought a noose for himself. Let this, then, be known to you, brother, that not he who begins well, this man is perfect, but he who lays it down well, this man is approved with God.

Give no sleep, then, to your eyes, brother, nor slumber to your eyelids, that you may be saved like a gazelle from the snares, and like a bird from the trap. For see that you are passing through the midst of snares, and walking upon a high wall, from which the fall is not without danger to him who falls. Do not, then, at once stretch yourself out to the height of asceticism; and above all do not be confident in yourself, lest from inexperience you fall from the height of asceticism. For better is the advance little by little. Steal away, then, gradually the pleasures of life, doing away with yourself every habit, lest, by provoking all the pleasures at once together, you bring upon yourself a crowd of temptations. And whenever you have prevailed by main force over one passion of pleasure, set yourself in array against the other pleasure, and thus you will in good time prevail over all the pleasures. For the name of pleasure is one, but the things are diverse. Therefore, brother, be first of all patient under every temptation. And by what kind of temptations is the believer tested? By worldly losses, accusations, false charges, disobediences, slanders, persecutions. In these and the like the believer is tested.

Then be also quiet — not headstrong in speech, not contentious, not quarrelsome, not vainglorious, not given to interpreting, but loving the faith; not much in talk, but be always ready, not for teaching, but for learning. Do not busy yourself with worldly lives, from which no profit comes to you. For it says: "That my mouth may not speak the works of men." For he who gladly speaks the things of sinners readily wakens up the pleasures against himself. Rather busy yourself with the life of the righteous; for thus you will find profit for yourself. Do not be fond of display, going about the villages or the houses, but flee these as snares of souls. And if anyone, through much devotion, invites you into his own house for many reasons, let such a man learn to follow the faith of the centurion, who, when Jesus was hastening to him for the sake of a healing, declined, saying: "Lord, I am not worthy that you should come under my roof, but only say the word, and my servant shall be healed." And when Jesus said to him, "Go, as you have believed, so be it done to you," the servant was healed from that hour. Let this, then, be known to you, brother, that it was not the presence of Christ but the faith of him who asked that set the sick man free. So now too, while you pray in whatever place you may be, and the sick man believes that by your prayers he will be helped, all will turn out for him according to his heart's desire.

Do not love your own kin more than the Lord. For "he who loves," he says, "father or mother or brothers above me, is not worthy of me." And what does the Lord's commandment will? "If anyone," he says, "does not take up his cross and follow me, he cannot be my disciple." If you died together with Christ to your kinsmen according to the flesh, why do you wish again to dwell among them? And if what you tore down for Christ's sake you build up again for the sake of your kinsmen, you set yourself up as a transgressor. Do not, then, on account of a debt owed to your kinsmen, withdraw from your place; for in withdrawing from your place, perhaps you will withdraw also from your way of life. Do not be one who delights in crowds; not fond of your district, not fond of your city; but fond of the wilderness, abiding ever upon yourself without distraction, accounting prayer and psalmody your work.

Do not slight the readings either, especially of the New Testament, because from the Old Testament harm often comes — not that what was written is harmful, but that the mind of those harmed is weak. For all bread is nourishing, yet harmful to the sick; so then all Scripture is inspired of God and profitable, and there is nothing common through it, except that to him who reckons it to be common, to that man it is common. "Prove all things; hold fast what is good; abstain from every form of evil." For "all things are lawful, but not all things are profitable." Be, then, in all things, toward those who meet with you, inoffensive, cheerful, loving the brethren, pleasant, lowly in mind, not falling away from the aim of hospitality through costliness of foods, but content with what is at hand; take nothing from anyone beyond the daily need of the solitary life. And above all flee gold as a plotter against the soul, and the father of sin, and a servant of the devil. Do not, on the pretext of ministering to the poor, set yourself up as liable to the charge of love of money. And if anyone brings you money for the sake of the poor, and you know that there are certain ones in want, counsel that very man to whom the money belongs to carry it off himself to the needy brethren, lest the receiving of money should defile your conscience.

Flee pleasures; pursue self-control; and train the body with toils, and accustom the soul to temptations. Reckoning the dissolution of body and soul to be the deliverance from every evil, await the enjoyment of the eternal good things, of which all the saints have become partakers. And do you, weighing it out without ceasing, set the pious reasoning over against the diabolical thought, as upon a balance, yielding to this by the inclination of the scale. And most of all when the wicked thought rises up and says: "What profit is there to you in the stay in this place? What gain to you in the withdrawal from the company of men? Or do you not know that the bishops appointed by God over the churches of God live in their accustomed manner together with men, and continually celebrate the spiritual assemblies, in which above all there comes profit to those present? For there are revelations of proverbial riddles, solutions of apostolic teachings, exposition of evangelical thoughts, the hearing of theology, the meetings of spiritual brethren who furnish to those who meet them great benefit from the sight of their face. But you, having set yourself apart from so many good things, sit here, made savage perhaps with the wild beasts. For you see here great stillness, no little inhumanity, lack of teaching, estrangement from the brethren, and the spirit having much idleness concerning the commandment of God."

When, therefore, the wicked thought rises up with such and so many specious pretexts and wishes to break you down, set against it, through the pious reasoning, the experience of the matter, saying: "Since you say to me that the things in the world are good, for this reason I have removed hither, having judged myself unworthy of the world's good things. For the evils are mingled with the world's good things, and the evils far prevail. For when I was once present at the spiritual assemblies, I scarcely ever met with one brother who, to all seeming, feared the Lord, but was held fast by the devil; and I heard from him clever words and fables fashioned for the deceiving of those who met him. And after him I met with many thieves, robbers, tyrants. I saw the unseemly aspect of drunkards, the blood of those who were oppressed. And I saw also the beauty of women, tormenting my chastity; and the deed of fornication I escaped, but my virginity I defiled in the thought of my heart. And I have heard many words profitable to the soul, yet in none of the teachers did I find virtue worthy of the words. And after this, again, I heard countless tragedies, clothed in enervated strains. Again I heard the sweetly sounding lyre, the clapping of the dancers, the voice of the jesters, much folly and ribaldry, the shout of an unspeakable crowd. I saw the tears of the plundered, the pains of those led off by tyranny, the wailing of the tortured. And I saw, and behold, it was no spiritual assembly, but a sea churned and troubled by the wind, eager to cover all together with its waves."

Tell me, O evil thought, and demon of temporary pleasure-loving and vainglory: what profit is there to me in the beholding and hearing of these things, when I am able to help none of those wronged, and am permitted neither to defend the powerless nor to set right those who go astray, and am likely, perhaps, to bring even myself to ruin besides? For just as a little clean water is made to vanish by a great storm of wind and dust, so the things we think we do well in life are covered over by the multitude of evils. For the tragedies, like stakes, are driven into the hearts of those who pass their life in good cheer and joy, that they may darken the purity of psalmody. And the wailings and the lamentation of men wronged by their own kind are brought on, that the endurance of the poor may be displayed. What profit, then, is there to me, except plainly the harm of the soul?

For this reason, therefore, I remove to the mountains like a sparrow; for like a sparrow I was delivered from the snare of the hunters. For I pass my life in this wilderness, O evil thought, in which the Lord himself dwelt. Here is the oak of Mamre; here is the heaven-bearing ladder, and the encampments of the angels that appeared to Jacob; here is the wilderness in which the people, sanctified, received the law, and thus, entering into the land of promise, saw God. Here is Mount Carmel, in which Elijah, encamping, was well-pleasing to God. Here is the plain in which Ezra, having withdrawn, poured forth all the God-inspired books at God's command. Here is the wilderness in which the blessed John, eating locusts, preached repentance to men. Here is the Mount of Olives, to which Christ went up and prayed, teaching us to pray. Here is Christ, the friend of the wilderness; for he says: "Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them." Here is the narrow and afflicted way that leads to life. Here are the teachers and prophets who wandered in deserts and mountains and caves and the holes of the earth. Here are apostles and evangelists, and the desert-dwelling life of the monks.

These things, then, I have willingly taken upon myself, that I may receive what has been promised to the martyrs of Christ and to all the other saints; that I may say without falsehood: "Because of the words of your lips I have kept hard ways." For I have learned that God-loving Abraham obeyed the voice of God and removed into the wilderness; that Isaac was oppressed, and Jacob the patriarch was a sojourner; that chaste Joseph was sold; that the three children, discoverers of self-control, fought the fire; that Daniel was twice cast into the den of lions; that Jeremiah, who spoke boldly, was condemned to a pit of mire; that Isaiah, the beholder of hidden things, was sawn asunder; that Israel was led captive; that John, the reprover of adultery, was beheaded; that the martyrs of Christ were slain. And why do I make a long discourse? Seeing that the Saviour himself was crucified for us, that by his own death he might give us life, and might anoint and draw us all to endurance. To him I press on, and to the Father, and the Holy Spirit. I strive to be found genuine, having judged myself unworthy of the world's good things — yet I am not for the world's sake, but the world is for mine.

Reckoning these things, then, within yourself, and accomplishing them earnestly according to what has been said to you, strive for the truth unto death. For Christ also became obedient unto death. But the Apostle too says: "See that there be not at any time in any of you an evil heart, to depart from the living God; but exhort one another, and build up one another, while it is called Today." For "Today" signifies the whole time of our life. Living, then, in this manner, brother, you will both save yourself, and gladden us, and glorify God unto the ages of ages. Amen.